How to survive (and be a leader during) the apocalypse

Well folks, according to the new movie 2012, the apocalypse is coming – soon! How can we be prepared for something that could cause tornadoes, earthquakes, winter storms, heat waves and fires? Our Community Disaster Education classes are guaranteed to be helpful in the fast-approaching end of the world.

This class will help ensure your survival and prepare your family for the worst. You’ll be the envy of your neighbors when they see your disaster kit. You could keep all this information to yourself, or you could set yourself up to be a leader by planning ahead with your community.


But that’s not all! The Red Cross covers all sorts of apocalyptic scenarios.

Is your continent sinking into the ocean before your very eyes? Take a flood safety class!

Did an earthquake split your home in half and start a small fire? Take a fire safety class!

Worried that the apocalypse will be cold? Take a winter safety class!

Did you trip and get hurt after driving a mobile home outrunning a volcanic eruption on the way to the small plane piloted by a man that has taken two flying classes? Take a first aid class!

And so, I leave you to absorb this information and prepare yourselves properly. Good luck – you only have three years to get ready.

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6 responses

  1. Nice! I especially loved the one about the pilot taking only two classes.It would have been funny if you could have worked a global warming joke into there. Or maybe too depressing.

  2. Good work! Maybe you could combine all of those classes in one grand Apocalypse Readiness class. Also, has the Red Cross looked into starting one for Zombie Preparedness? I know just the person to organize the curriculum for that.

  3. I think that one of the skill checks in the Apocolypse Readiness class should be how to safely walk on lava. If it were a real disaster (like in the movies) there would certainly be a superhuman that could do it!

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